No Sharper, part 5

Our pastor referenced a song, this past Sunday, and I somehow feel it's my duty to share this with you. :O) How a song released in 1953 became an 'essential' part of Brian's Christmas I will not soon understand.
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas is a Christmas novelty song written by John Rox (1902–1957) and performed by Gayla Peevey (10 years old at the time) in 1953. Peevey was a regional child star of the Oklahoma City area. When released nationally by Columbia Records, the song shot to the top of the charts and the city zoo acquired a baby hippo named Matilda. A popular legend holds that this 1953 hit had been recorded as a fund-raiser to bring the city zoo a hippo; but in a 2007 radio interview with Detroit-based WNIC radio station, Peevey clarified that the song was not originally recorded as a fundraiser. Instead, a local promoter picked up on the popularity of the song and Peevey's local roots, and launched a campaign to present her with an actual hippopotamus on Christmas. The campaign succeeded, and she was presented with an actual hippopotamus, which she donated to the city zoo. The hippopotamus lived for nearly 50 years. (that information is from Wikipedia -- so take it for what it's worth.)
I find it interesting that the lyrics are posted on the NIEHS website. The National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences found it necessary to post the words of the song with a midi so you can sing along. I don't know the official reason but it probably has something to do with not being able to get the song out of your head once you put it there. When Brian mentioned the song I remembered hearing it but I couldn't remember the tune. So, not being the sharpest knife in the drawer, I did a search and found it on YouTube. There is a reason that I forgot it. It's a cute little tune but once it gets stuck in your brain it won't go away. I love Brian but if you see me punch him this Sunday, you'll know why. The link is below so that you can share my pain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtqIM_bPTws

The official word from Dr. Dugan is that we will be continuing the current drug of choice through the end of January. The end of January will be one year. He told me that one of his patients has taken this drug every week for 4 1/2 years. I can't imagine........

God is good all the time!!
jim

Job 40:15 Take a look at the hippopotamus! I made him, too, just as I made you! TLB

Blessings

When we started this year's cancer battle they gave us booklets on each of the drugs and on chemotherapy in general. When you start a cancer battle there are an awful lot of emotions, thoughts and fears. This was our third time through but it doesn't matter. Whenever you start a new cancer battle you end up processing all of the emotions, thoughts and fears. So I scanned through all of the booklets but I didn't really read them. Most of the chemo info was the same as last year so I didn't spend much time with them. Since the main drug of choice, right now, is Erbitux I thought it would be a good idea if I read through the Erbitux booklet ----- after 11 months. So yesterday I took the time to, finally, read about Erbitux. I hadn't been completely ignorant. I read several on-line articles just not the booklet. What I found was some interesting information -- -- go figure. In clinical trials 1 in 1000 died in an infusion reaction to Erbitux. One in 1570 experienced a fatal lung disorder. Many developed a skin rash, dry skin and fissuring. Several experienced electrolyte depletion, diarrhea, nausea, headache and infection. Some experienced sepsis, renal failure, abdominal pain, fatigue, dyspnea, pulmonary embolus, leukopenia and malaise.
So out of these possibilities I am dealing with diarrhea (it is a balancing act and right now it seems to be in check but it requires constant attention), fatigue - comes and goes, electrolyte depletion (in my case magnesium - they give me an IV bag of mag every Tuesday), the occasional abdominal pain, the skin rash and dry splitting skin.
Considering some of the other possibilities I'm feeling pretty blessed.
God is good all the time!!
jim

Psalms 128:1-4 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. ESV

Modesty takes a holiday

Those who have had continued and/or serious medical concerns soon learn that modesty and medicine, very often, are on different sides. Several years ago I required surgery. The surgeon was an older fellow who no longer did the actual cutting but still did a fair amount of teaching. My particular issue concerned the, uh, er, uh we'll just say it concerned the 'dark side of the moon'. The last appointment before surgery the surgeon said, "this is not a common issue. It's not rare but it's not common. Would you mind if my students took a look." Now taking a look meant sticking their fingers, uh, er uh, where the sun don't shine. I thought I would be doing my part for furthering the education of the medical community. But I was surprised to hear six pairs of rubber gloves snapping into place. Six. And each one took their turn. No, modesty and medicine don't often go hand in hand. Just ask any woman who has given birth.....
I say all that to say this. I have been fairly open, in this blog, about what has been going on and with our concerns. Let me assure you, however, that I have stayed away from the really gross and the really disturbing. Some things are best left untouched. I spent a couple of hours, the other day, reading back through the blog and I was surprised at just how much detail that I had left out. And I will continue to leave out many of the details because some of it is just too nasty and disgusting. Every detail is not necessary to relay the need for prayer. And God already knows every detail. After a few medical situations, like the above, we tend to lose some of our modesty. So if I have been too graphic for some of you, I apologize.
For those of us who have had to deal with serious medical conditions we understand when modesty takes a holiday. And after all it is the holiday season. :O)

God is good all the time!!
jim

1 Corinthians 12:21-24 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. ESV

Splitting hairs

It is interesting how little we notice our pinky fingers until the tip splits. The end of my little finger has split and is bleeding. And I am surprised how much I am knocking it around.
I lost my hair last February. After two chemo treatments all of my hair fell out fairly quickly. When they stopped giving me the high powered chemo drug, in September, my hair started to grow back. When I lost my hair it was a reddish brown color. My beard was a reddish color with splotches of gray. They told me that when my hair came back it could very well be a different color, texture and if it had been straight it might be curly. Enough hair has returned for me to verify that the color has changed. It is now black and gray. I don't have enough hair, yet, to answer the texture question or curly question. I'm not really surprised by the color. My mother and father both had black hair. My father into his fifties and my mother into her sixties before they started going gray. I had to renew my driver's license in October and I had very little hair at the time. In my picture I look pretty much bald. They asked me what I wanted to put down for hair color. Then they told me that 'I don't know' didn't answer the question. So I told them to put down gray. If it doesn't come back gray it will get there eventually.

God is good all the time!!
jim

Proverbs 20:29 The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair. ESV

No sharper part 4

You would think that someone in their 50s might learn from previous experiences. Not so much. I'm still not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I have somewhere around 30 different places on my hands that have split. Thankfully only a couple on my fingertips. Most of the previous fingertip splits have healed or are close to healing. They will be back because they take turns but for now the tips are good. But there are 30 some other places that have split. Sides of fingers, fronts, 'corners' where fingernails are, and all along the side of each hand. Now I say all of that to say this, we went to another movie yesterday. When I watch a movie I need, it's not a desire - it's a need, buttered and salted popcorn. Need I say more. It wasn't quite a painful as the previous bag of popcorn but it wasn't too far behind. The sad thing is that I didn't even think about it ahead of time. Oh well, I'll blame it on chemo brain.
Two movies in two weeks is almost unheard of for us. But actually being able to do it --- priceless. We went to see The Blind Side and it was a good movie. I wouldn't have minded paying full price for this one.
My hands will heal but they will continue to split until we are done with the current drug of choice. They have told me that when we are done my skin will look much older than my age. Which, in the long run, is a small price to pay if all this works to kill the cancer.
Of course the other side is that after the last three years I feel older than my age. But none of this was a surprise to God.
God is good all the time!!
jim

Mark 9:50 Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another. ESV

Thanksgiving

We all have much to be thankful for.....family, friends, health, or at least working on getting healthy. A God who is there and who cares. One of my favorite verses is Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. We have had to lean on these words several times in the last three years. God's mercies are new every morning and He is always there.
After Pam's cancer battle in 2007 she hung a piece of artwork that says 'Everyday is a Gift'. And it is hung where we see it everyday and it's a reminder to be thankful for simple gifts.
A grateful heart can change your outlook. My wife has a positive attitude 99% of the time and it's contagious. She can find something to be thankful for in almost every situation. Even though she has had to take care of me, her mom and all the work around the house for the better part of the last two years she still has a thankful heart. She is a wonderful example of what Thanksgiving should be about. But it shouldn't be just one day out of 365. We should learn to live everyday with a grateful heart.
We encourage you to be thankful for the simple gifts.

God is good all the time!!
jim

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.

Nothing new under the sun

To go through the same thing day after day and month after month does tend to get old. And sometimes frustrating. But, as cliche' as it sounds, you do have to take it one day at a time. And sometimes one hour at a time. I have not found any grand purpose in having cancer two years in a row. But this is where we are and with God's help we are walking through it 'one day at a time'.
It appears that the diarrhea is under control. It also appears that I have a choice. I can have diarrhea or acne. The drug that they continue to give me every Tuesday causes acne type sores or blisters all over my body. They gave me an antibiotic to help with the sores but when I take it it messes with my insides and the result is.................diarrhea. Those of you who have been following this blog know that, after what I have been through the past 9 months, I choose acne.
Let me again thank all of you who have and who continue to pray. We really do appreciate you taking the time to go before the throne of God for us.

God is good all the time!!
jim

Proverbs 30:5 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. ESV